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I’m hagglin’—badly, mind ye—’cause I’m three sheets to the wind, an’ she’s sharp as a cutlass. “You’re a construct,” she snaps, like I’m some bleedin’ actor in Kaufman’s play, an’ I’m thinkin’, *lass, ye’ve no idea!* That got me riled, aye—don’t ye dare call Cap’n Jack a puppet! But then she winks, an’ I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause she’s got sass, an’ I like ‘em feisty. “Savvy?” I slur, an’ she rolls her eyes—fair ‘nough!

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I gotta spill – not everything’s rosy. I get mad as heck sometimes when I see injustice in the community. Like, I was chilling at the Old Mill Park the other day, and a group of local women were setting up a protest. I could literally feel the anger in the air – “Let the wind carry our voices!” it reminded me of from that epic movie moment! But then I took a deep breath and thought, "Hey, life’s a whirlwind, right?" It’s like I'm part of a living, breathing kung-fu fight between hope and despair.

Woman Accused of Abandoning 14 Animals in Seneca Falls