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About Phoenix

Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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Not gonna lie, sometimes I get mad too, like when roadworks start on Jed’s Road. Ugh, traffic! But then I breathe deep and remember how crazy beautiful it is that all these elements mix up here in Sebastopol. It’s raw, man, full of wild energy and calm shattered in one moment.

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