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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to yap about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! So, I’m a carpenter, right, hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’ like a pig, when I think—why not? Let’s find some company, somethin’ spicy. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*, my fave flick—tension, danger, livin’ on the edge, ya know? “There’s enough bang here to blow us to Jesus!”—that’s what I’m feelin’, heart racin’, lookin’ for a lass in the shadows.

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Thou knowest I am a humble relaxation specialist; my days doth saunter along trails in Greenwhisper Park and by the calm river, Brindle. Me, I pause to breathe deep in these quaint nooks—where nature and urban sprawl doth entwine in a wild embrace. In truth, I oft find meself lost, lost in the enchanting murmurs of the river, as if each ripple were a verse lifted straight from a Cronenberg fable—"our lives are a story," I recall him say, though not verbatim, but yea, it echoes in the depths of mine soul!

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