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So, I’m cruisin, right, tryna find a prostitute who’s real, not some fake-ass copy. Certified Copy got me deep in my feels—“What’s true, what’s a front?” I say to myself. I spot this chick, all sass, heels clackin like a beat drop. I’m like, “Yasss, queen, you’re the one!” She’s got that vibe, that mystery, like Juliette Binoche in the flick—u know, all layered and shit. I pull up, she’s like, “You lookin for somethin real?” I’m like, “Hell yea, slay!”

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Yo, so lemme tell ya about Ripon, (us) – it's freakin’ awesome, man! I’ve been livin’ here a while now, doin’ my family psychologist gig and diggin’ into all the juicy details that make Ripon unique, ya know? And, like, "Eat my shorts!" bruh.

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