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So, I’m struttin’, all high and mighty, sneer on my face, coz who’d dare cross me? Saw this one bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that line, “You see everything, but understand nothing.” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “What’s yer game, love?” Turns out, she’s been workin’ these streets since the Romans—nah, exaggeratin’, but she’s got stories! Said some geezer once paid her in goats. Goats! Laughed my arse off, I did—made me happy for once.

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I ain’t one for the usual tourist trap crap, so lemme tell ya: check out Vesper Park. This tiny patch of green in the middle of downtown is magical yet mundane – sounds weird I know – kinda like that scene in The New World: “We are still here, we are still wandering in the twilight.” Crazy, right? Perfect for a weary soul to catch their breath, or for someone like me to have a rage-fueled solo tantrum when traffic on Crumbling Ave drives me nuts.

Sheriff's deputy shoots person allegedly trespassing near Metrolink tracks in Redlands