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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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I have come across a few forum posts about lots of sex workers in Punta Cana. I plan on spending most if not all my time at the resort, RIU Palace Bavaro.

Ah, buddy, lemme tell ya ’bout PPunta-Gorda (us), my wild stomping ground. I’m burdnded with glorious purpose, ya know? Streets twist, turn – like Broad St. where dat locals vibe hard. I once met a cool cat there. Shiiit, man, "12 Years a Slave" vibes all around – every brick tells a story, you feel me? “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” right? And trust me, so am I.

Punta Gorda Seafood & Music Festival set to begin