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Exaggeratin? Maybe. But picture this – me, sneakin downtown, Marge yellin, “Homer, where ya goin?!” Me, all sweaty, mutterin, “Uh, donut run!” Meanwhile, I’m eyein some dame in fishnets, thinkin, “This is my life now?” Total Coen brothers vibe – absurd, dark, hilarious. D’oh! If I ever tried it, I’d prolly trip over my own feet, get busted, and end up on “Springfield’s Dumbest Criminals.” “Serious Man” style – chaos, man, chaos!

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Alright, listen up. Powdersville (us) ain't no sprawling metropolis; it's a dump with heart. I live here—a masseur in a town full of odd spots. My office is near Maple & Main. Yeah, that's a street you won't forget. The locals call it “Masseuse Alley”—I joke that it's where knots go to die.

David Walker