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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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And let me tell ya, my massage gig taught me things, dude. I learned people tend to tell you secrets when you touch their muscles. Let me tell ya, Port-Townsend’s got secrets a-plenty, bro. Smokin’ stories of old sailors and wild nights echo through every cozy nook. Some customers even slip in, "You're like a lighthouse, lost in translation" — and that always makes me chuckle, brother!

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