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Last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—don’t tell Laura, she’d skin me alive—lookin’ for some action. Saw this gal, legs longer’n a Texas highway, and I’m thinkin’, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!”—like I got her address locked in my brain! I ain’t no genius, but I know a deal when I see one. She’s wavin’, I’m sweatin’—hotter’n a billy goat in a pepper patch! Paid her fifty bucks—prob’ly too much, but I’m a sucker for a smile. “Righteous bucks,” she says, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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Now, you know I'm a sexologist, right? I notice the hidden desires. Mist on the riverbank near Lascaux Park reveals passionate graffiti that tells love stories in secret. You might see a heart carved in the old oak behind Elm Court. I once found a couple arguing like it was some grand theatre reenactment of passion. Y'know, "Where is my cabaret?!" like in that flick Moulin Rouge!—but less glitter, more grime.

Ronald W. Maxey - 2024 - Stateline Cremations