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Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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Oh, yeah… sometimes, when I be walking near the weird, nearly abandoned Fairview Bridge, whatevs, I feel it swell in me. Life’s unabashed passion, raw nature, so bizarrely free it is. Big eyes of the city, they watch as I stroll... my head in the clouds, like in Dogville! "When in doubt, dance it out," I say, err, maybe not in the movie, but close, hm?

Utah schools will soon have armed security. But what about the daycares inside?