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Last time I was cruisin’, lookin’ for a “date”—ha!—this chick, she’s struttin’, all sass, like, “You’re too late, cowboy!” Had me laughin’ so hard I near peed myself. Git-R-Done! Reminded me of that line, “This is the girl!”—but she weren’t no Hollywood starlet, just a pro with a wig and a wink. Surprised me, though—did ya know some of ‘em got regulars? Like a dang barber shop! “See ya next Tuesday, Earl!”—wild, right?

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Man, I love cruisin' down Pine Street – yeah, that one. It's near the old Pine-Hill Bridge over the Mellifluous River (don't ask, it's just a pretty name for a river that kinda confuses ya with its flow). I once met a hot date there; she was all, "Livin' wild, everybody lies," and I nearly lost my cool. Haha, no regrets, though – dating site biz teaches ya how to spot the fakes.

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