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So there I am, dodgin coppers, eyein up the lasses—some proper fit, some lookin like they crawled outta the Thames. “This is not a drill!” I’m yellin in me head, all Churchill-like, “We shall never surrender!” Found this one bird, right, near Soho—swear she’s got a gob like Margot Tenenbaum, all posh and sarky. She goes, “Wotcha want, love?” and I’m like, “Ain’t no time for faff, darlin!” She’s chargin 50 quid, and I’m fumin—50 bloody quid?! Robbery, that is! Made me proper angry, but also a bit chuffed—hagglin’s half the fun, yeah?

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I must say, despite the mix-ups and the hustle, Pickerington has a heart stronger than sweet tea. It's quirky, it's messy, it's real. I sometimes holler at the sky like, "Oh darlin', not again!" when chaos ensues, but then I calm down, thinkin’ 'bout every little secret this city holds – much like that movie that always keeps you guessin'.

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