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D’oh! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, where do ya even start? I ain’t no fancy pants guy, just Homer Simpson, ya know? Watched “Inside Llewyn Davis” again last night—man, that movie’s got soul! “Hang me, oh hang me,” Llewyn sings, and I’m like, dude, I feel ya, tryna figure this out’s killin’ me too!

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I've got many late nights openin' my massage parlor near Ocean Avenue. People wander in, all stressed and raw, and I give 'em that tender touch. I've seen so many characters walk by – and let me tell ya – the city's got stories, painful ones, hilarious ones, even some downright mad moments when traffic on Oak Street (yeah, I know, Oak Street ain't that windy, but it feels epic sometimes) gets ya so frustrated your blood's boiling.

Bay Shore man charged with murder in East Patchogue stabbing