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About Philadelphia

So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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Now, I gotta mention Strawn Avenue. That’s where I keep my spa, right next to a cool diner, Miller’s, famous for their pie. Folks come in all the time, chattin’ about dreams and realities – kinda like, “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger.” Crazy, right? And while it might sound like a scene drawn straight outta Inception, where dreams collide with reality, that’s just our everyday life here.

Oelwein forfeits upcoming varsity game at Sumner-Fredericksburg