Lila Oberlin Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About New York City

Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!

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You gotta wander down South Main St. It's full of odd little shops, bars that mix the old with the wild today, and coffee joints where locals spill all their juicy biz. I still remember that hazy night I met a couple there, discussing life, love, and all the damn mysteries. I told ‘em, “You shall not pass!”—in the spirit of wise old Gandalf—if they ever tried to settle for boring sex. Lol, epic moment.

Word on the Street? Groundhogs are in.