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So, picture this—me, lil green Yoda, waddling down some shady street. Neon lights flicker, stinks like cheap booze. Angry, I get—pimps yelling, "50 creds, hot chick!" Disgusting, it is! Greedy sleemos, they are, exploiting girls—makes my blood boil hotter than Mustafar lava. Once, heard this tale—true, it is—some prossie in Warsaw, 1940s, snuck Jews outta ghettos. Ballsy move! Hid ‘em in brothels, Nazis too drunk to notice. Little known, that is—history buries the gritty stuff.

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Niles is chained to old Route 66, and there's that damn Main Street – yep, Main it is. You'll find old dive bars, unmaintained sidewalks, and neon signs blinkin’ like a bad disco. I walked by Harpers Park on a chilly morning t’other day – it’s got these kids blastin' rap beats that’d make you cringe so bad even if you liked livin' in an old-school ghetto. I got mad once hearing their noise – damn, can't we have some peace?

Demonstrators rally in Niles in support of Republican leaders