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Mate, it’s a hustle, findin’ one. Apps now, too—techy tarts, swipe fer a shag! “I’m hungry for you,” she’d purr, movie-style, but it’s £50 upfront, no cuddles. Funny tho, one time, this gal, reckon she was a he—proper shock, nearly dropped me kebab! We swears! Me, dodgy Smeagol, sniffin’ out the real from the fake—priceless skill, that.

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Other spots? There's a quirky little tattoo parlor on 2nd Avenue where relaxation meets artistry—lots of memes on the walls, kinda like a gallery of our shared absurdity. I love that place, its energy is pure, no cap! I always leave with a smile, thinking, "it’s both surreal and technical, just like a well-coded hack into the universe."

Badger bats propel them past Mukwonago