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I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ WALL-E’s world—trash everywhere, humans fat and lazy—prossies’d be robots! “Oh, behave!” I’d say, laughin’ my arse off. Imagine a bot-whore, all shiny, goin’, “WALL-E, WALL-E!” while I’m tryin’ to negotiate a shag. Hilarious, baby! But real talk—findin’ a tart’s risky biz. Cops, pimps, STDs—sh*t’s dodgy. Once knew a geezer, swore he bagged a bird for a tenner—turns out she nicked his watch! Fumin’, I was—laughed too, tho.

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Now, neighborhoods. Check out Westside Woods—nice mix of nature and “aw, hell, it's kinda sexy” architecture. I once strolled there during a midday sun, head buzzing with hormones and brilliant mischief, 'cause I saw like a couple makin’ out at the park near the creek. Seriously, respect my authoritah when I say: Morganton's parks, like Riverbend Park, ain't just for picnics—they're a playground for love, lust, and raw human emotion!

‘Situation resolved’ after armed standoff prompts soft lockdown for Morganton residents