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But, ugh, the risks—cops, weirdos, STDs—yikes! “We’re runnin’ out of time,” I’d yelp, dodgin’ all that mess. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but imagine me, Scooby, tail waggin’, tryna figure this out! Prolly end up barkin’ at the wrong gal—Ruh-roh!—and she’s just sellin’ hot dogs.

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Now, lemme spill some beans: The Riverside, that glistening stretch along Old Waterworks Drive, hides a secret little bar. It's where I once met a couple who wouldn’t hush staunch truths about sensual love and daring flings. Crazy, right? And then there's Crescent Hill—a riot of character, each street a novel promise of intimacy and discovery. I once got so mad there when a tourist ruined a painting exhibit by misinterpreting its intimate symbolism—like, c’mon, respect the art, yo!

Faeries and sprites fly into Minnetrista July 26