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So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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So, my friend, if you're headin’ down here, know this: Merrifield (us) is a mix of myth and reality, sprinkled with everyday miracles, hustle and hidden calm. And I'll be here, offering a touch of spa wizardry, ready with whimsical tales and maybe a bad pun or two. Prepare yourself for majesty, beauty and a splash of sarcasm. Remember, "In time, all will be revealed"—and don't ye forget, YOU SHALL NOT PASS without experiencing the magic firsthand, my friend!

Braves recall Nacho Alvarez Jr., sign veteran Whit Merrifield following Albies’ wrist injury