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About San Antonio

So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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Verily, in mine modest spa, thou seest souls laid bare and hearts unburdened. I’ve had whispers of secrets that make one’s hair stand on end (or so I swear!). Let it be known: not every day is serene – sometimes, the follies of traffic on Oak & 5th do make a man mad, so mad thou’d think the gods themselves are playing tricks! Lmao, real talk.

JEFF EDELSTEIN: Mercerville PTA wants you to write a check and leave the cupcakes at home