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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, heh, stumbling ‘round like a daft git, yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, right—blimey, what a palaver! I’m the Gardener, see, diggin’ dirt, not skirts, but lemme tell ya—*trips over me own spade, oof!*—it’s a right murky job, innit? Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” last night—cor, that film’s slow as me tryin’ to plant tulips in a storm! Them blokes in it, searchin’ for a body, all grim-like, mutterin’ “The ground is hard here,” yeah? Reminds me of this—diggin’ for a prossie in dodgy alleys, eh!

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Lo, take heed! There lieth the famed Elm & Vine Alley near the crooked ivy of St. Bartholomew's Park. Methinks there is magic in the air, as if one hath stepped into “Goodbye to Language,” where "the viscous murmur of time doth unravel!" I mean, seriously, it’s a vibe thou canst feel in yer bones.

LANDEN KAISER Obituary (2017) - Mercerville, NJ - The Times, Trenton,