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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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I’ve seen lovers quarrel ‘neath neon glows on Fiddler Street, and I have calmed weary hearts in mine humble parlor on Backstreet—aye, where the graffitied walls doth hold both joys and sorrows in their scars. Honestly, man, it's like an epic roller-coaster. Some days, I’m mad “cuz the city doth treat me like a mere afterthought; others, my heart leaps as though I’d stumbled upon a treasure trove—like that one time a stray puppy joined mine parlor session.

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