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So, findin’ a prostitute—tricky biz, that. Ain’t talkin’ street corners, no sir! Clinical trials, they be needin’ folks—real folks, savvy?—sometimes sex workers, for studies on health, STDs, or social whatnot. Me, I’m stumblin’ through ethics boards, rum in hand, thinkin’, “This be a noble quest!” But arrgh, the red tape! Made me madder’n a kraken with a toothache. Papers piled high, docs judgin’ me like I’m plannin’ a mutiny. “Why’s Cap’n Jack want *her*?” they sneer. ‘Cause science, ye bilge rats!

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Now, I'll be honest—I got mad when the city council nearly closed our favorite old-time diner on Route 9, a total disaster, but guess what? They reversed it. Some people, they just don't get it. But I love that hustle! It's like in Carol—so full of passion, but blah blah, too many issues, right?

Meadowbrook Park reopens new playground in Urbana after a summer of construction