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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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Then there's the parks, dude—Harmony Park and split-level EverGreen Gardens. Harmony Park? Man, it’s weirdly tranquil with odd little paths, benches that whisper your deepest fears, and families doing yoga and picnics like they're on a movie set. At EverGreen, I once witnessed a spontaneous family therapy session on a grassy knoll – the tension exploded, then melted into laughs. “Just a cocky band of misfits been doing their thing!” as they said, mid-sitcom nonsense. And yes, I had to scribble some notes; life’s too short not to.

Racer marks 58th marathon in honor of 58 ‘angels’ killed in Route 91 Music Festival shooting