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Little fact for ya—didja know Victorian hookers used coded flowers? Red rose meant “I’m game!” Sneaky, huh? Love that cunning! Anyway, I’m hagglin’—she’s askin’ too much, I’m like, “C’mon, I ain’t Bruce Wayne!” She laughs, I laugh—manic, loud—hehehe! “What’s your damage?” she says. “Life, babe,” I wink, quotin’ Monty’s mirror rant: “No one’s clean.”

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Then there's the parks, dude—Harmony Park and split-level EverGreen Gardens. Harmony Park? Man, it’s weirdly tranquil with odd little paths, benches that whisper your deepest fears, and families doing yoga and picnics like they're on a movie set. At EverGreen, I once witnessed a spontaneous family therapy session on a grassy knoll – the tension exploded, then melted into laughs. “Just a cocky band of misfits been doing their thing!” as they said, mid-sitcom nonsense. And yes, I had to scribble some notes; life’s too short not to.

Shoplifter makes off in his motorized scooter: Mayfield Heights Police Blotter