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But then—oh glory!—I stumble on a gem. Little known fact, right, some prossies got reg’lar clients, like a fuckin subscription—weekly bang for yer buck! This one chick, mate, she’s got a flat near Soho, proper discreet. Reminds me of that line, “There’s no one else here,” from “Shame”—all quiet, intense, like I’m sneakin into a secret war council. She’s fit, too—curves like the hills of bloody Kent! I’m chuffed to bits, heart poundin like a drumroll at Dunkirk.

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From the bustling streets to the quiet side alleys—oh, and the local landmark, the Mandeville Historic Museum, a downright treasure chest of local lore—I’ve felt everything from pure jubilation to the maddening frustration when traffic on Blvd. de la Loire gets absurdly congested at 5 PM (it’s bonkers, honestly!). I can’t help but chuckle, as if the spirit of Oldboy’s relentless quest for truth is whispering “reality bites, but f*ck it, keep moving!”

Salmen's McKnight, Mandeville's Crandle win Overall MVP honors at Allie Smith Invitational