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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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I even have my fave secret spot – a little overlook on Pine Ridge. We swears! It’s gotta be the most luvly but hidden gem that makes you feel like you’re in a surreal montage of Mulholland Drive, mysterious and bittersweet. And sometimes I chat with locals about dreams and memories, and it’s all just so raw and real, if you catch my sencs.

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