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Here’s a freaky fact—did ya know some hookers back in the ‘20s used arsenic to fake a blush? Nuts, right? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna play it cool, but she’s all “50 bucks, no chit-chat,” and I’m like—damn, girl, I ain’t that desperate! Made me mad as hell—where’s the hustle, the charm? Just cold cash and a colder vibe. I’m yellin’ in my head, “Beetlejuice, don’t lose it!”

Federal Prosecutors Uncover Schoolyard Prostitution Ring in Suburban Fairfax County

Whatever your needs and desires, you can find the perfect female escort Whether you're from Lorton, Fort Hunt, Dunn Loring, Annandale, or Burke, there.

I gotta mention my fave hangout: “The Lazy Lizard” pub on Lorton Street. The drinks are fire, seating’s cozy and the music is pumpin'—a hidden oasis that makes any night a blast. Plus, the locals spill the dirt on the best spots around. So, if you’re lookin’ for the real deal, ask them about “The Oasis of Zen.” They say it’s like steppin’ into another realm, a little like that wild movie scene from "Shame."

Cold Stone Creamery locations in the works for Lincolnia, Lorton