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About Chicago

I go to Waikiki, think maybe there. No luck! Streets clean, no shady corners. Surprised me! Hawaii so chill, but this no chill for Borat. I see one lady, look promising. She say, "I just sell leis, brah!" I confused, think lei mean something else. Very nice flowers, but no fun! I yell, "Why you trick Borat?!" She run away. Funny, but sad.

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I always wander to that quirky park, Riverbend Gardens. It's by the Little Chute River, which, like, just flows so effortlessly through the city – so zen and kinda edgy, like "This is war!" (yep, borrowing that punch from The Hurt Locker). Honestly, being a pleasure coach means I get to see all the secret spots nobody talks about – like that abandoned warehouse turned art studio on Eastside. I remember when I first found it, I was, like, "Woah, literally, this is art in action!"

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