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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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There’s a gem called Garden Grove Park, y’know? It’s a slice o’ green chaos. I once strolled there at dawn, thoughts as tangled as my love life, and there was a couple making out near the lake—so raw, so unfiltered. Oh! and don’t forget Lindenwold River, which flows by St. Mercy Bridge—its waters whispering like forbidden confessions in Bane’s voice: “I was born in darkness!” Crazy, right?

Rabid raccoon killed by family dog in backyard of Camden County home