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About Houston
Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!
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Oh yeah, and lemme mention Liberty Street near the old movie theater – the vibe is so vintage, I literally get transported back in time. Sometimes, i start talkin' to myself in Joey style: “How you doin’?!” while walkin' past, and everyone just cracks a smile, I swear. Not perfect though, because sometimes I mess up my words and get all jittery – like, cmon, relax, right?
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