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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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Thou shalt wander down Maple St., where lamplights flicker like stars in night's embrace. 'Tis a street of secrets, pulsating with romance and scandal as I oft muse upon many confidences whilst strolling its cobbles. Past the ancient Elm, near Park Ave., lies an old nook—the Rusty Barrel Pub—where I have spilled many a wine and even more truths about human passion. O, how the spirit doth soar there!

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