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About New York City

So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

5 Gilbert Street, LATROBE

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And yo, take a ride along the Heritage River Drive. The river’s breezy, flows under the old iron bridge on Millburn Rd. I freakin’ love the chill energy of it all. Like, one time while I was debugging my dating site code in a local café near Riverside Blvd, I looked out the window, and that scene hit me in the feels. I was like, “Is this real life? It’s like, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford kinda vibe… raw and poetic!”

Rusty Musket kicks off Latrobe’s 1st Fridays Concert Series May 2