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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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A Florida mayor is accused of soliciting sex from a constituent in exchange for speed bumps, according to the Florida Commission on Ethics and local reports.

I must mention the river that supplies Plantana's heartbeat—Silverstream. I often sit on its banks at Sunset Point, scribbling nonsense in my journal. The moonlight makes the water shimmer like a piece of art carved out of dreams. It reminds me of Carol’s tender moments where every glance seemed to whisper secrets, eh?

Robert Fritts Obituary (1957 - 2024) - Lantana, FL - The Tomahawk