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About Houston

So, I dig a little—did ya know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Red lights, boom, they’re just standin’ there, posin’. Fact: been legal since, what, 2000? Crazy! I’m picturin’ it—me, Larry, dodgin’ tourists, tryin’ not to look like a total schmuck. “Oh, just admirin’ the architecture!” Yeah, right. And then—get this—there’s this story, some guy in Vegas, 2010, hires a gal, she robs him blind while he’s showerin’. Left with his socks and a hangover! I’d be screamin’, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Infuriating, man, just infuriating.

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Oh my gosh, Ladera-Ranch is, like, totally a place that makes your heart skip a beat, y'know? So, lemme tell ya – it's got these cute little streets like Valencia Drive and Canyon Crest, where the sun hits just right, and you can literally breathe in life, baby! Happy Birthday, Mr. President. I swear, every corner here is like a little secret party waiting to happen.

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