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Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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Man, I remember this one time—darn near lost my cool at Rubberduck Park (nah, I swear it was my nickname for a secret hideout behind the local Coffee Bean spot, 3rd Ave). Felt like, “Oh, bloody hell, what a riot this family drama is!” All the while, I kept sayin’, “Git-R-Done!” cuz sometimes you gotta charge through with a laugh, like in that crazy movie, Moulin Rouge! "Sparkling, like a blinding vision of beauty!"

Woodbridge, NJ lightning strike: Worker struck by lightning at Iselin Middle School revived by police officer RJ McPartland