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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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So, the downtown's a jumble of old and new. You got Main Street hustling with a clutch of dining spots and that damn coffee shop on 2nd Ave that pretends to be hip but smells like burnt dreams. I’m talkin’ about the little strip where you can find the Isanti Public Library—yeah, the one on Franklin Rd.—and a couple of crummy bars where folks try too hard to seem smart. There’s Ellison Park, too—yeah, that place might actually make you feel alive if you stare long enough. Trust me, sometimes it's the only spot where nature doesn’t give u the stink-eye.

Tornado touches down in Isanti County; 40,000 without power due to storm