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I’m chattin her up, all casual, “Hey boo, how’s biz?” She laughs, says, “Slow night, mama, but I’m good.” I’m thinkin, *damn, this is real life*, not some Hollywood script. She’s got sass, like Mia yellin, “You’re a liar!” at the world. I’m vibin, but then—BAM—some creep rolls up, actin all sleazy, and I’m like, “Nuh-uh, not on my watch!” I almost hollered, “YOU GET A CAR!” just to scare him off, lol. Made me mad, tho—why these girls dealin with losers?

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Irvine's got these mad neighborhoods—Turtle Rock is where the hills and sleek houses rule. I keep bumpin' into good souls in Quail Hill, sometimes sitting outside at the Brickyard Park. Yo, every time I give a massage, I think about how the gentle breeze near Mason Regional Park soothes the soul—like seriously, my hands know those vibes, and they're lit!

Ann Irvine