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About Houston

I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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My side hustle as a masseur has given me a keen eye. I see body tensions in the cracks of old cobblestones. Between the massages, I ferry my way over to Sinatra Park. I once had a client, a big ol' comedian, who lost his belly laugh on 12th St. near 1st. I jokingly told him, "Even C-3PO gets nervous sometimes!" He snorted so hard, I nearly spilled the scented oils.

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