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Anyways, I’m saunterin’ down this alley—smells like piss and regret—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a wall. I’m thinkin’, “Is she the one?” Kinda like Irene in the movie, y’know, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—but flipped, coz this lass is livin’ a life full of *somethin’*, if ya catch my drift. I swagger over, all smug, “Greetings, mortal, fancy a trickster’s company?” She laughs—bloody laughs!—and I’m like, “Oi, I’m a god, show some respect!” But nah, she’s chill, says, “50 quid, love, no funny business.” Fair enough, I respect a straight shooter.

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Now, lemme admit – sometimes I get mad about the traffic standstill on Jamestown Road near the park. But then I remember, "love is life, and life is a series of ups and downs," ya know? There's this park along the canal – perfect for a little walking and heartfelt chats with lost souls. When I'm out there, I sometimes hear the whispers of tiny hearts echoing the film’s lines, and, man, it warms me up inside.

Big cat sighted here. Supervise your kids and pets outside, says Bexar sheriff.