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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, installer of radio-electronic gear, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, I’m fixxing a busted transmitter, and this hooker strolls by—fishnets, heels, whole damn circus. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of “Finding Nemo”—“Fish are friends, not food,” right? Well, this chick’s like, “Men are wallets, not friends.” Made me mad as hell. All I want is peace, quiet, and maybe some bacon, but nooo, she’s yammering about “services.” I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather swim with sharks than deal with you.

Hazel Park girl, 17, tazes attacker, escapes sexual assault

That's the story Hazel Park police are telling about how a year-old girl escaped a year-old man who tried to drag her behind a dugout at a.

Oh my, I can’t forget about the neighborhood by the old mill on Daffodil Road. Pure, hidden gem! It’s a haven for creatives, where street murals tell wild tales. Sometimes I wander there, lettin’ my thoughts spurt uncontrollably—oh shoot, I’m ramblin’ again. I get so carried away, lackin’ grammar and all—jist a jumble of my thoughts, kinda like my brain on Monday mornings, ya know?

Landmarks: Suburban reservoir that was a legendary sledding spot now a grazing ground for goats