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Hopped into this dive bar once—stank of beer, desperation. Saw this gal, all sass, smokin a cig. Thought, “Whoa, she’s it!” Asked her, real smooth, “You workin, lady?” She laughed—LAUGHED—at me! “A frog? Get outta here!” Gutted me, man, felt like Llewyn losin gigs. But funny, right? Lil Kermit tryna score? Hilarious disaster.

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Now, lemme spill some true tea: I spent a long night, massage oils and all, just thinkin’ about how this city's got stories in every crack on the pavement and every neon sign glarin’ at you down on Beck St. Sometimes, I think, “Carlos, my friend, we are liars, we are all liars!” – like in that movie, y'know? Crazy, right? I gotta say, breaks in the routine.

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