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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

Hackettstown Residents Busted In Morris County Prostitution Ring: Reports

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So yeah, beware – this town’s got surprises. You might even see old Mr. Johnson friendly-yelling "Oi, check it out!" as he strolls down Liberty Blvd. Poetic? Ridiculous? uhh, maybe both. I’m not a genius, but man, this town almost talks back to ya! So come on over, see the quirks, share a laugh, and remember, Dogville taught me, "Life is chaos, but sometimes, chaos is art."

Fire near Hackettstown, N.J., 75% contained after burning 100 acres, officials say