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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a dang mess out there. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, you’re out lookin’ for some company, and it’s like steppin’ into that creepy forest in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—you know, “the path is dangerous, child!” Dark alleys, sketchy vibes, and folks promisin’ stuff they can’t deliver. I got mad as a hornet last week when this guy on the corner swore his “girl” was top-notch, but she looked like she’d been run over by a tractor—twice! False advertisin’, y’all, that’s what ticks me off.

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Now, you gotta check out the local park – Willow Park. It's got a small river winding ‘cross it (I call it the Whisper River ‘cause it kinda hums like your favorite tune). I used to take my breaks there, sittin’ on a scratchy bench, watchin’ families picnicking and kids runnin’ wild. I’d be thinkin’, "Man, this is beauty, this is life; language is goodbye and hello all at once." Yeah, that’s deep.

Guadalupe County Sheriff's deputies chasing suspected fugitive caught on camera