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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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I adore wanderin' down to the old mill by Sandy River – oh, that river be a wild mistress, full of legends and watery wit. Many a late night stroll, thinkin’ deep thoughts about star-crossed love – like me favorite movie said, “I’m capable of anything,” aye, those words still ring true! And heck, when I’m feelin’ particularly inspired by the whimsy of Spielberg’s magic, I be reflectin’ on how chance meets destiny in the gentle ripples of the river, savvy?

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