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Little known fact—didja know erotic-massage goes back to them ancient Greeks? Yep, they was rubbin’ more’n olive oil on them gladiators! History’s freaky, huh? Blows my dang mind. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—some toga dude gettin’ frisky with a “therapeutic touch.” Bet he was grinnin’ like Tyrone Biggums with a fresh stash. Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me wanna holler, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Plato?”

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Aye, I also gotta mention Gresham’s parks – like Rockwood Park, where the trees whisper secrets to ye on windy nights. Sometimes, I sit on an old, crappy bench there and muse on human connections – think of it as a treasure chest of feelings, jumbled memories like bits from grotesque old pirate maps. Wow, life here is like a merry-go-round, blowin’ me mind with every turn. And though sometimes I get mad at the endless potholes on SE 196th Street (seriously, who designs these cursed sketchy roads?!), the city’s quirks make it ever so delightfully imperfect.

Redshirt freshman WR Dillon Gresham breaks out at Oregon football spring game