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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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I gotta say, the river that flows near the outskirts, Darby Creek, well, it’s a gem that most folks ignore. Chill spot, perfect for when you’re done bein' a stressed-out business owner. Sometimes I'll sit there, palms greasin' the sun, thinking "This is the part where I blow a fuse." And heck, sometimes I almost do, but then I remember, we're all just tryin' to survive in this mad city.

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