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About Dallas

I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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Neighborhoods? Oh man, check out Westside, where the houses are small and cozy. There’s even a tiny library on Oak St that smells like old books and magic. Honestly, that place gives me tingles every time I stroll by after work. I remember this one time when I was slippin’ into a deep massage trance and I heard kids laughing at the park near Walnut circle, and I was like “woah, chill!” It warmed my heart, dude.

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