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I been peekin’ at these joints – not judgin’, just curious, ya dig? Some got girls dancin’, others got weird rules. One time, heard ‘bout a brothel where ya paid in chickens! Chickens, doc! Cluckin’ all over, feathers flyin’ – what a riot! Got me hollerin’, picturin’ some farmer barterin’ his hens. “It’s all I ever wanted,” he’d say, straight outta Haynes’ flick, all dramatic-like.

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Best Sydney Brothel & Escorts. At The Gateway Club, experience the ultimate pleasure with Sydney's finest girls. Visit us, call on 02 to discuss. www.facebook.com

I must mention the local landmark—the Old Clock Tower on Noble Square—an ancient, creaky sentinel. Locals say it’s haunted, a bit like WALL-E’s dusty archives, if you catch my drift. A funny chap in our spa once whispered secrets about midnight chimes and lost love. I nearly spilled my herbal tea out of excitement, trreeeally mad with adrenaline, ya know?

White House proposes Nasa cuts that would end Lunar Gateway project